Finding My Step

I've had a whirlwind of activity in my life for the past two months and am very much looking forward to things settling down.

I'm in my new home, for the most part unpacked, still getting organized and am working on creating a routine or pattern to my days and weeks.

I now have to schedule in the laundry mat, I no longer have my favorite market that I went to weekly, I don't have as many household responsibilities, I'm not familiar with where to shop for the best deals. Meijers, Target, Best Buy. . . . . . . none of these stores exist in Detroit and I'm wanting to be able to spend my dollars here in the city.

I'm working on creating a healthy, productive schedule that's going to take care of me in a positive, balanced way. For the past few days, I've begun my mornings by attending a 7am Alcoholics Anonymous meeting in Grosse Point, and then heading to the new YMCA in downtown Detroit. Because I recognize that I can become obsessive about setting goals, I've decided to allow this pattern to develop and repeat itself until it becomes a habit. I don't plan on becoming rigid about adding other plans to my schedule, however, I'll look for new things to do that will make my life feel fabulous and fulfilling.

This past weekend my husband and I went to the Detroit Farmers Market. What a fantastic way to spend an afternoon! I LOVE to feel as if I'm getting a bargain, and this is definitely a place for bargains. A box of fresh, juicy clementines for $2.00, eggs fresh from the farm, large bags of apples for $4.00! Then we discovered there was a meat market across the street which we hadn't seen before. They had a special on N.Y. Strips for $2.95 a pound, and their prices for Amish chickens and turkeys are better than what they're charging in the grocery stores for just regular hormone filled chickens. It really was a fun time and I came home with plenty of fresh food for the week, and plans to return again this weekend.

I've determined that there's not a lot I can do about my employment until after my surgery, although I have been applying for jobs and following up on leads and referrals that I've come across. Hopefully this effort will pay off for when I'm back on my feet and able to get back to work. In the meantime, we continue to tithe 10% back for what God has given us and have been receiving many rich rewards because of it.

So, although finding my step is a bit of a challenge, I'm finding it to be a fun challenge. There are so many new things to see downtown, and new places to discover. I believe by putting God and myself first in the morning I'll have the energy and drive to make these new discoveries.

Looking for Work

Lately I've been looking on the internet for a new job. I've been successfully self employed for 13 years up until I suffered the loss of my retail store in 2004. I've spent the last 3 years working with the insurance company and lawyers, and working on two outstanding Interior Design projects. I've recently completed a commercial project and am now wrapping up my last large residential project.

Rather than start all over, get out and network, take on lots of small projects to rebuild a business, I think I'd prefer to go to work for someone else.

I know that I am a really good designer, I know that I'm a good mentor for other designers, I work really well with clients and have a strong business background. Yet, while I'm searching the classifieds, I feel inadequate, out of date, and insignificant.

I find myself applying for work that I'm overqualified for and, although I'm applying, feeling intimidated by the positions that I'm interested in. I recognize that my computer skills are out of date, and that there are many new computer programs that Interior Designers are using that I'm not familiar with. I recognize that employers are wanting experience in Auto Cad, and my only experience is self taught. I know enough CAD to put together my clients drawings, and do presentations, but am not familiar with the complete program as it could be used.

Additionally, I lost my portfolio in the store flood and didn't bother to replace it. I would need to return to clients that I haven't worked with in years to get some photographs. I stopped taking on new clients after the flood, primarily because I was overwhelmed by the incredible amounts of information required by the insurance company, having to relocate and downsize my company, and, by the fact that I was anemic and unable to perform my job at full capacity.

Anyway, it feels depressing and discouraged. I don't know whether I should start my business all over again, or seek employment that I don't feel equipped to do, or secure employment that I'm overqualified for. I'm very uncomfortable being in a position of not knowing what to do next. I'm certainly an action oriented person, but, when I don't know what action to take I feel stuck.

In the meantime, I've updated my resume and am submitting it those companies I feel intimidated by. I've also updated my business cards and will purchase the products I'm needing to have them printed. And, since some action is better than no action, I will begin by handing a stack of my cards to each of the clients that I am in the process of completing, letting them know that I am looking for new clients. Finally, I am going to act as if I am rebuilding my business and if God sees otherwise for me, I will be happy to take whatever path he shows me.