Friday, August 24, 2007

Health vs. Education

I'm pretty upset about the results I received from my doctor regarding my blood tests. My hemoglobin is at 8.4 right now and she is recommending that I get a hysterectomy. This doctors opinion is the fourth opinion I've received on this.

I was supposed to start school next week. I won't be able to handle school and a hysterectomy in the same semester. Recovery time is approximately six weeks and I would either need to do it now or when school breaks for the winter. I don't know what to do. I want to start school so badly and I'm afraid that if I don't start school this semester that I'll never go back to school. Right now my schedule is such that I believe I could handle school and my part time career. I'll pray on this and see what guidance I receive. I won't make a decision until I feel certain that I am being shown what I need to do. Actually, it was through prayer that I was shown to go back to school. Why would a hysterectomy come up at the same time?

I have been following the body for life workout program for the past week and the eating plan given to me by my doctor. I actually am feeling pretty good too. The hypnosis session to eliminate my sugar cravings seems to have taken. I stopped eating sugar on August 9th and I'm enjoy carrots and fruits instead. I still listen to the cd each day/evening and am practicing the self hypnosis techniques I was shown. So far its working out great.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

THURSDAY - Balancing Career and School

As I've mentioned several times throughout this blog, I'm about to begin graduate school and work towards a degree in Architecture. School begins next Wednesday and as of yet I have not gotten an answer regarding my financial aid/student loan. Needless to say, I'm concerned.

Having been a young, wild, irresponsible teenager who barely made it to high school graduation, I find it amazing that I am going for my Master's degree! A part of me doesn't believe that I can/will succeed, yet, the ambitious side of me knows that I can and will succeed.

I'm a bit concerned about maintaining my business, making enough of a living to pay our bills, and attending school. I'm concerned about a 7 credit studio class in my first semester. I'm worried that I won't be able to keep up or that the college is allowing me to waive some classes based on my prior studies. Its been 13 years since I've been in school.

I'm 47 years old and I'm not in least worried about being the oldest student in the class. I don't really care about that, and, believe I have the advantage. I retain information better than I used to, I recognize what's important where as before I didn't really know. I can focus better now than in my past, I schedule more reasonably and honestly, I recognize and appreciate the value of this education. I am excited, frightened, and thrilled to be going back to school. I feel blessed to be able to.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

MONDAY - Romantic Love

I've held off on this one and put it in draft mode for several days. For me, right now, the most romantic behavior I can show is to be supportive, accepting and non- judgemental.

My husband and I have been married for nine years and have known each other for twelve. Unfortunately, when you know someone for a long period of time it becomes easier to get into some behavioral habits that aren't kind, healthy, supportive or loving.

Recently I made a choice to stop reacting when I don't approve of something he says or does. I'm working on shutting my mouth and just trying to listen to him. This is not an easy task for me. I'm an outspoken person while he is a more guarded person.

The more resentments I'm carrying around, the more critical and outspoken I am. I'm working on my thought process regarding resentments and it is helping me greatly to be more accepting.

Right now, this is what romance is to me. I am creating a more gentle, loving environment for my husband and I to relate in and I have seen a more loving, appreciative husband as a result.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

SUNDAY is Spirituality

I had planned to go to the Buddhist temple this morning, however, I ended up sleeping in later than intended. While my hypnosis cd may be getting through to my subconscious, its also affecting my sleep. I need to change the time when I listen to the cd.

Spirituality is kind of touch and go for me, although it is something that I value highly. On a scale of one to ten I would rate this a seven. Someday's I'm centered and in communication with God, others I have no idea where I am in relation to God.

Today, in order for me to stretch my spirituality, I commit to relying on God all day. I will rely on God for direction, inspiration, guidance, and love. I will continue to bring myself to God. One thing I can do would be to set an alarm for every hour and bring my mind to God. Another step I might take is to hold onto my rock so that I can continuously be aware of God. In the end, my goal is to stay as close with God as I am able to today. I'm not perfect, which means their are incredible amounts of room for improvement.

Finally, I will look for God today - I will see God today.