Friday, July 27, 2007

CFM - Day 7

I didn't set an alarm for this morning, but I got up at 7am. As I expected, today was a rough day. Whenever I binge on sugar I feel awful the following day. My emotions are pretty much all over the board, with a quick anger response. My father was supposed to spend the night tonight but he called with a change of plans. I'm glad he didn't make it, not because I didn't want him to stay, but because my energy is so messed up from all the sugar in my body. Very similiar to being hung over from a drunk.

This morning I started out with an apple and 1/4 cup of nuts, a few hours later I had a shake. I'm flashing in and out of cravings throughout the entire day and especially the evening. At about 5:30 (quite a few hours late), I had 3 peaches and about 3/4 cup of nuts. Frustrated, hungry, but not wanting to prepare anything, I ended up eating about 4 oz of salmon from last nights left overs, and grabbed a bag of already washed celery. I layed down and was reading a book, munching on celery feeling very discontent. About 7pm I got up, made myself a shake with 4 tsp of oil, and hour later I threw 1/2 cup of lentils and 1/2 cup of rice in the micro. I didn't want the lentils and rice, my tastebuds are screwed up from all the sugar and all I want is something sweet. I ended up not eating the soup and rice and grabbed a half a seedless watermelon and ate about 1/4 of it.

I really didn't want to go to the gym, but, since I needed to pick up some pillowcases for my guests, I decided that I would go to the gym which is right next door to Bed, Bath, Beyond. That's it though - that's all I did today. Again, I forced myself to do 35 minutes of cardio. I've been restless, tired, edgy, angry, craving foods, and feeling frustrated.
It's midnight now and I've just eaten 1/2 cup of peanuts and a glass of water. I feel frustrated because there really isn't anything in the house that I really want to eat (chocolate), and earlier tonight I decided not to go out of the house because I knew I'd buy sweets. I'm feeling controlled and frustrated by this addiction. Yet, at the end of this day I have to say, "thank God I didn't eat sugar today." Even though the entire day I've been obsessed about it.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

CFM - Day 6

Set alarm for 7am and got up at 7:09. Had to fast before taking some blood tests at 9:00. Packed an apple and nuts for when test was completed. Craving a bagel and cream cheese on my way back home. Talked myself through it by shifting my thoughts to the protein shake I would have when I got home. Returned home at 10:30. Made a shake.

Have the urge to take a nap, however, I honestly want to make another choice, so, I will push through it. I know that I can go to bed early tonight if I want to.
Oh well, ended up taking a three hour nap from 12 to 3pm!
Had a shake and an apple at 5:00. Waiting on husband because I'd like to go out for sushi. If he doesn't hurry, I'll have to go alone.
Showed my house today for the third time to this couple. It'd be great to be able to sell it. Michigan's housing market is pretty rough right now and I currently own two houses. I'm ready to move into a small loft that I've completely renovated and let go of my larger home. Fingers Crossed.
9:00 Husband and I went out for sushi. I had a bowl of soup, a salad, 2 egg, 2 salmon, 1 yellowfin tuna, and 4 pieces of vegetable roll. Then I had about 3 oz of salmon and packaged the remaining to take home. As soon as I walked out the door though I was hit with a craving for ice cream. I felt really angry about it. I tried talking with my husband about it but that just frustrated me more. While we were driving home I was obsessing on ice cream, than chocolate, than m & m's. I was not able to let go of the obsession. I asked my husband to stop at CVS and I went in and bought a 20 oz bag of peanut m&m's. Even as I'm writing this, the m&m's are distracting to me I want to hurry up and finish typing so I can go up to my room and eat them.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

CFM - Day 5

Went to bed at 10:30pm last night then woke at 2:30 wanting something to eat. Had to do some self talk to calm the thoughts down a couple of times.

Set alarm for 8:00, woke up at 8:10. Sat in front of my computer until 10:30 then had a shake with a tsp of oil. When I took my am vitamins and minerals I had an upset stomach so I chased them with some pepto bismol. I'll have to spread them out a bit more so I don't take too many at once.

Packed a peach and 1/4 cup of nuts before I headed out to the gym. Exercised on the elliptical orbiter for 30 minutes, ate the peach and the nuts, then headed into a class called "muscle max" for 30 minutes. The class wasn't very strenuous, but, since I'm returning to the gym after taking quite a bit of time off with anemia and laziness, I'm okay starting back into things slowly.
When I was leaving the gym my mind starting flashing onto candy bars. I had planned to stop at the grocery store on the way home, but decided I needed to get past the craving first. I'll go grocery shopping later if I'm feeling stronger.

Feeling a bit shaky when I returned from the gym (which is why I was craving sugar), I immediately made myself a shake with a tsp of oil. Feeling tired and want to take a nap. I'll try to fight the feeling. (see "Signs that I'm Self Destructing") .
Overcame my urge to take a nap and decided to get some work done instead. I regained energy and was able to complete several things that were overdue. I had another peach at 3:30 and was feeling levelled out energy wise.
My husband and I went grocery shopping at 4:30. It took us 2 hours to get through the task. By the end of the trip at the store I was feeling tired and hungry. I held off the hunger with a stick of gum because I knew I'd be home soon and make a salad.
By the time I got home I was crabby, confrontational and argumentative towards my husband. Even before I put away the groceries I was making a salad. I threw the Lentil soup in the micro(it was already measured out) , my husband started cooking the orange roughie, I heated up 1/2 cup of brown rice, cut up a carrott added 2 tsp of oil to the salad and immediately sat down to eat. Even though I've just completed that meal, I still feel a bit shaky and weak. I'm tired and my resistance to eating healthy is down. I'll grab a glass of water to see if that will help me feel full.
Earlier, while making the salad, I began to think that I could eat extra servings of peanuts. I ended up measuring out 4 servings of peanuts, packaging them in individual baggies and put them away in the cupboard. I also packaged two salads for tomorrow and Friday. I'll have a leftover 6 ounce serving of Orange Roughie for tomorrow also.
Its 8:30 pm and I didn't make it through the evening without going off the plan. I've had an apple and 1 cup of peanuts. The apples not bad, but the peanuts - 159 per 1/4 cup. Ouch! 9:15 ate another peach. 9:30 another 1/2 cup of peanuts. Can't seem to get a handle on this. I'm going to go to bed and read and see if that helps me to stop.
Went to bed at 10:30 but than stayed up until 12:00am playing cards on the computer. Plan on getting up at 7am. I can see the slippey slope and am ready to slow it down. Rough Day.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

My Daily Vitamins and Minerals

    Woman's Multivitamin

    Vitamin D - 2000 IU

    Calcium - 600 mg 2x's a day

    Iron - Taking quite a bit right now because of anemia.

    Selenium - Healthy detoxification

    Zinc - Metabolism of protein, carbohydrate and fat. Protects from heavy metal poisoning.

    Chromium - Reduces insulin resistance.

    Alpha Lipoic Acid - Increases burning of glucose.

    Conjugated Linoleic Acid (CLA) - Helps glucose and fat metabolism. Specifically help with ab fat.

    EPA/DHA - 1720/1160 Improves metabolic balance, reduces triglycerides, normalizes hormones, lowers Alzheimers risk, and improves ADD/ADHD.

Of course, these vitamins and minerals offer additional benefits, but I've just listed the primary reason that I've decided to take them.

CFM - Day 4

Set alarm for 8am woke up at 11am. Woke up hungry and grabbed a peach with my coffee. About 45 minutes later I had a shake with a tsp of oil. About 2:00 I had a 1/4 cup of nuts and a shake with oil. Packed a peach and carrots before I went to the gym and pulled a frozen 1/2 cup of lentil soup out of the freezer for tomorrow. Went to gym and used the elliptical orbiter for 30 minutes. Took my granddaughter home,she lives about 30 minutes away, and ate my peach and carrots on the way. Returned home about 5:30 and grabbed a salad and a wheat lawash.

Feeling stressed out about finances and can feel the craving for sugar hitting me in waves.

At 8:00 I ate 6 ounces of shrimp and 1/2 cup of chickpeas. I pulled some Orange Roughie from the freezer for tomorrow. I plan on going to bed about 10pm.

Monday, July 23, 2007

CFM - Day 3

Set my alarm for 7am, got up at 9:30, had a shake with a tsp of oil at 10:30. Packed a lunch of salad with 2 tsp of oil and red wine vinegar, 1/4 cup of peanuts, and an apple. Arrived at clients house at 11:30, received a call from my doctors office to have a BIA done today rather than meet with the doctor. Needed to fast for 4 hours, so I ate my apple and peanuts before 12:15 because my test was for 4:15. Ate right at my clients table while we reviewed design plans. Stopped at home before my doctors appointment, added a peach to my lunch bag so I'd have something to eat in addition to the salad when I walked out of the doctors office. Was running late to kids kickball game so I grabbed a shake with oil and out the door. Got back from game at 8:30, ate 3 ounces of shrimp, some carrot sticks, and went to the gym. I did 30 minutes of cardio, and 15 minutes of weights. (had to talk myself into those weights) Home at 9:30 put together 1/2 cup chickpeas, 1/2 cup brown rice, the remaining 3 ounces of shrimp and some canned stewed tomatoes, added basil, salt and pepper and threw it in the micro. I weighed in at 165.6 at the doctors. Had no cravings for unhealthy foods today.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Medically Assigned Eating Plan

Here is the eating plan that my doctor has instructed me to follow:

  • 2 "Medical Food" Shakes
  • 3 Vegetables
  • 1 Vegetable #2 (ie 1/2 sweet potato, carrot, beets)
  • 4 Oils (canola, olive, flax)
  • 2 Protein (3 ounces each)
  • 2 Fruits
  • 1 Nuts/Seeds (100 calorie serving; just under 1/4 cup)
  • 1 Whole Grain
  • 1 Legume (1/2 cup serving)

This works out to approximately 1300 calories, I am to be eating approximately every 3 hours.

In addition to this eating plan I need to exercise 45-60 minutes of cardio daily and 15 to 30 minutes of weight training every other day.

CFM - Day 2

July 22: I've prepared much of the foods I'll be needing for the next few days. Brown Rice, Cooked Shrimp, Lentil Soup, Salad, and measured and packaged nuts. Then I went to the gym for a 45 minute workout. This morning I had a shake for breakfast later I had a serving of nuts. Before I went to the gym I had another shake with a tsp. of oil. After I got back from the gym I had 1/2 cup of lentil soup. For dinner I ate a salad with red wine vinegar and 3 tsp of oil, a carrot, 6 oz of shrimp and 1/2 cup of brown rice. I'm finishing off the day with 2 servings of fruit, an apple and a cup of raspberries.

Signs That I'm Self Destructing

I have some obvious (in hindsight) signs that I'm on the path to my self destruction. These signs begin simple enough, but then they are compounded as I continue to chip away at the positive behaviors I am trying to incorporate into my daily lifestyle. . . . .

  • I stop wearing my seatbelt (this is one of my first signs)

  • I begin taking only my prescription medications, and eliminate my vitamins.

  • I start throwing my clothes on the floor when undressing.

  • My clean clothes and dirty clothes are now mixed up together on the bedroom floor

  • I stop doing my laundry

  • I do a load of laundry and leave it in the washer. . . . for days. . .rewash. . . leave it in washer. . . . etc.

  • I don't want to talk on the phone.

  • I don't return phone calls.

  • I let my voice mail get full and I don't clear it.

  • I begin sleeping in until noon

  • I take naps! Major problem! I will take a 3 to 4 hour nap in the middle of my business day - getting virtually nothing done. A few days in a row of this and I am way behind in my work.

  • I don't wear my rubber bands for my braces

  • I miss doctors appointments

  • I avoid making doctors appointments

  • My house is messy and I don't have the desire or energy to do anything about it.

  • I've run out of food and I don't go grocery shopping.

  • I'm off my eating plan - usually because I've run out of the foods I need.

  • I start skipping meals

  • I feel unorganized, less than, or depressed.

  • I spend money without paying attention to my finances.

  • I pay my bills late

  • I harm my credit rating by waiting over 30 days to pay a bill.

  • I don't open my mail and ignore that I have any bills at all.

  • It appears as though I am trying to gain weight, or sabotage the weight loss I have experienced to date.

  • I binge eat on primarily sugar.

  • I resist exercising.

CFM - Day 1

July 21: Today I woke up at 11:30 a.m., ate 2 pieces of Pizza Hut Pizza and 2 cups of coffee. Couple hours later I ate 1/4 cup of pumpkin seeds, an apple and a glass of water and FINALLY (its been a month) went to the gym. I worked out on the elliptical for 45 minutes! Then I ate sushi california roll and some other kind of roll I don't know the name of. I also ate a large bowl of grapes. Later when my husband went to work I was wanting to just munch on something - chocolate preferably, but, since there wasn't any in the house and I didn't want to go out and get some, I ate another bowl of grapes and another piece of pizza and a piece of garlic bread (that I didn't really like because it was dry) . Still craving chocolate I made myself a chocolate protein shake. Went to bed about 11:00 with a diet coke and 1/2 cup of pumpkin seeds.

Although this doesn't sound like too terrible of a day, I'm not even close to the eating plan I've been given to follow by my doctor. I'll try again on Sunday.