Living With Anemia

I've had iron deficient anemia for almost four years now. The primary symptoms of my anemia have been fatigue, shortness of breath, rapid heartbeat, irritability, dizziness and lightheadedness. Although I can occassionally get my hemoglobin up to 12, a healthier red blood count, it usually records at a 9 and sometimes drops down to 7. A couple of times last year I was hospitalized because of an extremely low hemoglobin and required to stay overnight to see if I would need a transfusion.

Having been sick for such a long period of time has altered the way I live. I don't have the energy to do all the running around I once did, I can't seem to get motivated to attend anything unless it's absolutely necessary. My social life has been reduced down to nothing. Old friends and family members wonder why I don't call, or don't answer my voice messages. I have little tolerance for going out for a Sunday drive, or shopping just to look around. There's no extra energy to clean a big home, or work in the garden.

While this may sound awful to most people, I have to admit there have been some benefits that I'll be able to use when my health returns.

The number one benefit that I have learned from this illness is time efficiency. No longer do I waste a minute of my time doing things that aren't absolutely necessary. I have created systems in my life that allow me to function to the best of my ability to take the best care of myself.

Even though I have been sober for 16 years, its a necessity that I attend AA meetings on a regular basis for some peace of mind and to connect with other individuals who can understand my problem. This ongoing attendance insures that I can remain sober for another 16 plus years.

Using this as an example: I set my alarm for 6am for a 7am AA meeting. I have 30 minutes to get ready since I have to walk out my door at 6:30 am in order to be on time. Not being a morning person, I have a hard time thinking at that time of day. Its difficult to figure out what to wear, or to pack my gym bag at that time of day for the workout that will follow the meeting . I must eat or my blood sugar levels will drop and I won't be able to function properly.

Rather than having to run around in the morning, or having to get up earlier than 6am, I prepare my food the night before. I keep vegetables cut up in the fridge in case I don't have energy for those times when I need them, I put some onions and green peppers in a pan with some oil, add 3 egg whites and 1 whole egg, 1/4 cup of brown rice (large batch premade) and put together some scrambled eggs for the morning. I lay my clothes out for the meeting the night before or sometime the day before depending on when I have the most energy, and have my gym clothes already organized into an outfit because that's how I've folded them when I did laundry (ie. pants, shirt, jacket, bra, on top of pants, shirt, jacket, bra, etc.) I take a shower the night before and dry my hair sitting down. Sometimes I dry my hair in two spurts of energy so I don't wear myself out too much.

In the morning, I put the eggs in the microwave, and heat them up while I put on makeup. I get dressed in the clothes that are already laid out, grab my gym bag, eat my food and walk out the door. Honestly, there's not much more to it than that.

Other things I've done to accommodate this illness. . . I don't answer the phone unless I have the energy too. I don't take work calls after 5pm nor will I schedule work over the weekend. I underbook my schedule knowing that if I have added energy I can fit a couple of more errands in my day.

Of course, (doesn't it always work this way) my husband has the energy of two people. He plans things one on top of the other. He can't understand why I'd rather call to see when a business is open when you could just drive there, why fax when you can deliver and talk to someone in person, etc. While my schedule must seem crazy to him, his definitely seems crazy to me.

This Saturday I had planned on going to the 7 AA meeting, then over to the farmers market for our weeks groceries. If I have energy, I will go to the gym. To me this seems like plenty of activities to put into my day, knowing that I'll also have to prepare meals and whatever else I do on a daily basis. My husband, however, has plans to do all three of those things with me, and he wants us to go to a party at a friends in Lansing (about 1.5 hours away - think round trip). Later I find out that he made plans for one of our neighbors to come over to our new condo in the morning to discuss design plans for a restaurant.

How can I fit all this activity into one day? I can't. He'll need to call the neighbor and ask him to call me to schedule a meeting, and he'll most likely have to go to the party on his own.

Other areas that have been altered to help me function more efficiently. . . my makeup is laid out on a tray so I don't have to dig into a makeup bag to find things, all financial paperwork fits into three folders and stays together near my computer so I can pay bills, update my budget, and file it all at once. I do ALL of my banking on line and don't even have a checkbook. My cupboards are organized according to the amount of times I use things. I overstock or double stock food items, medications, and toiletries so that I don't have to run out to get something.

Having been ill for so long I've developed an incredibly efficient system for my use of time. Although I'm not looking forward to having surgery (total hysterectomy) next week to correct this problem, I am looking forward to having more energy, building up a social life again, getting back into business, and being able to do things I haven't been able to for the past 4 years.

Finding My Step

I've had a whirlwind of activity in my life for the past two months and am very much looking forward to things settling down.

I'm in my new home, for the most part unpacked, still getting organized and am working on creating a routine or pattern to my days and weeks.

I now have to schedule in the laundry mat, I no longer have my favorite market that I went to weekly, I don't have as many household responsibilities, I'm not familiar with where to shop for the best deals. Meijers, Target, Best Buy. . . . . . . none of these stores exist in Detroit and I'm wanting to be able to spend my dollars here in the city.

I'm working on creating a healthy, productive schedule that's going to take care of me in a positive, balanced way. For the past few days, I've begun my mornings by attending a 7am Alcoholics Anonymous meeting in Grosse Point, and then heading to the new YMCA in downtown Detroit. Because I recognize that I can become obsessive about setting goals, I've decided to allow this pattern to develop and repeat itself until it becomes a habit. I don't plan on becoming rigid about adding other plans to my schedule, however, I'll look for new things to do that will make my life feel fabulous and fulfilling.

This past weekend my husband and I went to the Detroit Farmers Market. What a fantastic way to spend an afternoon! I LOVE to feel as if I'm getting a bargain, and this is definitely a place for bargains. A box of fresh, juicy clementines for $2.00, eggs fresh from the farm, large bags of apples for $4.00! Then we discovered there was a meat market across the street which we hadn't seen before. They had a special on N.Y. Strips for $2.95 a pound, and their prices for Amish chickens and turkeys are better than what they're charging in the grocery stores for just regular hormone filled chickens. It really was a fun time and I came home with plenty of fresh food for the week, and plans to return again this weekend.

I've determined that there's not a lot I can do about my employment until after my surgery, although I have been applying for jobs and following up on leads and referrals that I've come across. Hopefully this effort will pay off for when I'm back on my feet and able to get back to work. In the meantime, we continue to tithe 10% back for what God has given us and have been receiving many rich rewards because of it.

So, although finding my step is a bit of a challenge, I'm finding it to be a fun challenge. There are so many new things to see downtown, and new places to discover. I believe by putting God and myself first in the morning I'll have the energy and drive to make these new discoveries.

Looking for Work

Lately I've been looking on the internet for a new job. I've been successfully self employed for 13 years up until I suffered the loss of my retail store in 2004. I've spent the last 3 years working with the insurance company and lawyers, and working on two outstanding Interior Design projects. I've recently completed a commercial project and am now wrapping up my last large residential project.

Rather than start all over, get out and network, take on lots of small projects to rebuild a business, I think I'd prefer to go to work for someone else.

I know that I am a really good designer, I know that I'm a good mentor for other designers, I work really well with clients and have a strong business background. Yet, while I'm searching the classifieds, I feel inadequate, out of date, and insignificant.

I find myself applying for work that I'm overqualified for and, although I'm applying, feeling intimidated by the positions that I'm interested in. I recognize that my computer skills are out of date, and that there are many new computer programs that Interior Designers are using that I'm not familiar with. I recognize that employers are wanting experience in Auto Cad, and my only experience is self taught. I know enough CAD to put together my clients drawings, and do presentations, but am not familiar with the complete program as it could be used.

Additionally, I lost my portfolio in the store flood and didn't bother to replace it. I would need to return to clients that I haven't worked with in years to get some photographs. I stopped taking on new clients after the flood, primarily because I was overwhelmed by the incredible amounts of information required by the insurance company, having to relocate and downsize my company, and, by the fact that I was anemic and unable to perform my job at full capacity.

Anyway, it feels depressing and discouraged. I don't know whether I should start my business all over again, or seek employment that I don't feel equipped to do, or secure employment that I'm overqualified for. I'm very uncomfortable being in a position of not knowing what to do next. I'm certainly an action oriented person, but, when I don't know what action to take I feel stuck.

In the meantime, I've updated my resume and am submitting it those companies I feel intimidated by. I've also updated my business cards and will purchase the products I'm needing to have them printed. And, since some action is better than no action, I will begin by handing a stack of my cards to each of the clients that I am in the process of completing, letting them know that I am looking for new clients. Finally, I am going to act as if I am rebuilding my business and if God sees otherwise for me, I will be happy to take whatever path he shows me.

A Whirlwind of Activity

Its been three weeks now since my husband and I signed on with a realtor to either sell or lease our home. Fortunately, we were able to find a tenant within ten days and they were prepared to move in by the first of December. This gave us two weeks to pack, reduce our belongings from 4,000 square feet to 1,000, move, and prepare the house for rental.

We've began packing our bags, scheduled an estate sale, and moved into our (much!) smaller home. We scheduled inspections with the city, contacted an organization to remove most of the items which didn't sell at our estate sale, packed items we decided to keep after they didn't sell at the estate sale, and moved them into our (much!) smaller home.

We had decided that if the living room furnishings didn't sell we would keep it and put it in our new home. Its larger scale than I prefer, but, it saves us the cost of buying new. Even as I write this last statement, I realize how absurd that can sound. I'm a designer, and, thus, an absolute perfectionist about my home, its layout, color, proportions, etc. This furniture is extremely high end, and, I would not be able to purchase anything even remotely as nice (see photo). Anyway, the living room furniture didn't sell, so, I hired two men and a truck to help us move it.

Finally, the inspector didn't show up for his meeting on Wednesday, but showed up Thursday afternoon, creating a lot of drama and stress for today. He determined that all of the gfi's need to be replaced, and all of the outlets need to be changed over to 2 wire because we don't have a ground wire for the 3 prong. That's 44 outlets needing to be changed over! Additionally, we don't have a ground for the gfi in the master bathroom and will need to remove some tiles in order to tie it in with the cold water pipe. This project requires an electrical permit to be pulled and everything replaced - by today! We called our electrician and he immediately came over to help, he pulled the permit this morning and the inspector agreed to come back by the end of today and approve the electrical work if it was done. Hopefully, and incredibly, it appears that we are going to be able to make the deadline in order for the tenants to move in tomorrow morning. Whew!

While my husband oversees the remaining cleaning, painting, and electrical work today, I am at our new home unpacking, organizing, and locating furniture.

This past week our unexpected expenses included auto repairs of $500, electrical work of $500 plus, furnace repairs of $700 plus, and moving company expenses of $350. Amazingly we had this money available due to the estate sale!

As I sit here writing this post I wonder if others can see how quickly God helped us to (literally) move in our lives. When we became entirely ready to whatever it took to help us get out of debt, and took the first step, God supported our decision. One month ago neither my husband nor I had any intention of moving to our condo, yet, the moment we became ready to take action, and opened our minds to the changes we were shown to take, God immediately supported us in our decision and made sure that we had everything available to make the changes, and meet the demands that came up along the way. Thank you God!

Getting Settled

My husband and I are still in the process of moving our things to our condo. We began sleeping at our condo on Wednesday evening and have been unpacking boxes daily.

We held the estate sale this weekend, Saturday and Sunday and were able to sell most of the large furnishings and a lot of the smaller miscellaneous items. The sale grossed $8500. After paying the estate company we made $5300.

Earlier this week a client of mine decided to purchase a piece of artwork for $5600. I don't want to get my hopes up too high though until I see the check.

Additionally my husband has been booked to do a lot more performances than he would normally do, so he is bringing in additional acting income.

It seems like all avenues have been opened up for our prosperity. Our plan is to get ourselves financially prepared for me to have my surgery and take six to eight weeks off of work, and to reduce our debts.

Our move won't be complete until the end of this week when we've moved the remaining furnishings out of of home, donated the smaller items still in the house, prepared the home for the renters, and moved a few pieces of furniture to our new condo.

Our renters are moving in this coming Saturday. Fortunately, they attended the estate sale and purchased our bedroom furniture, office furniture and one of our twin beds. In other words, these items won't need to be moved.

I'm really looking forward for things to start calming down a bit and getting settled into our new home, and beginning to collect rent to help us reduce our bills.