SETTING MY GOALS

I need to know where I'm going and I won't know if I've gotten there unless I've claimed where and what it is I want to actually create in my life. I'd like to have my goals be as concrete as possible, again, so I know if I've reached them. I will set goals for the seven areas of my life that I believe take all of my focus. My spirituality, romantic relationship, family & friends, my finances, health, career & education and entertainment or having fun. My intention is to create a balance in these areas to the best of my ability and in this lifetime.

SPIRITUAL - To create a personal relationship with God. To learn to trust God with my life. To study religions and learn how others have developed their relationship with God. To look for God every day.

ROMANTIC - Talk kindly. Encourage. Overlook slights and faults. Develop my affectionate side. Be affectionate. Receive affection. Initiate sex. Plan a romantic get away. Plan a romantic evening. Act loving. Show signs of appreciation.

FAMILY - Call Dustin weekly. See Dustin monthly. Plan a family dinner every 2 months. Call Alexis. Do Multiplication with Alexis. Call Derek to see how he's doing. See Derek as successful, happy, prosperous. Make sure that I see Mercedes at least one time per month. Be kind to my father. Call my father once every 2 weeks. Write emails to my father weekly. Call Jeanne and Tim to get together. Meet Anne and Kevin half way for dinner. Do a monthly family email.

FINANCE - Refinance both of our homes to reduce our monthly payments. Apply for the hardship loan. Save 10% of our income. Tithe 10% of our income to wherever we are spiritually fed. Maintain the daily cash logs for both Richard and I. Create new avenues for income. Pray to learn about my financial health in a safe way. Follow the guidance that I am shown to take to the best of my ability.

HEALTH - Create and follow a schedule to go to the grocery store, the fish market, and the Arabic market. Follow the eating plan prescribed by Dr. Paz's office. Set up an exercise program and follow it - make the commitment and stay on schedule. Prioritize exercise. Make doctors appointments as they are needed and show up for those appointments.

CAREER/EDUCATION - School starts next week and I have not determined how I am going to maintain my business and go to graduate school at the same time. Write down my weekly schedule of classes. Follow up on the financial aid.

ENTERTAINMENT/FUN - Plan a night out to the movies. Set up sewing machine in upstairs bedroom and begin working on cashmere blanket project. Walk the labyrinth at the Healing Arts Center. Go to garage sales and find modern furniture to furnish the condo. Staying home and reading a book. Shopping for incredible deals. Spend time outdoors

CFM - Day 5

Went to bed at 10:30pm last night then woke at 2:30 wanting something to eat. Had to do some self talk to calm the thoughts down a couple of times.

Set alarm for 8:00, woke up at 8:10. Sat in front of my computer until 10:30 then had a shake with a tsp of oil. When I took my am vitamins and minerals I had an upset stomach so I chased them with some pepto bismol. I'll have to spread them out a bit more so I don't take too many at once.

Packed a peach and 1/4 cup of nuts before I headed out to the gym. Exercised on the elliptical orbiter for 30 minutes, ate the peach and the nuts, then headed into a class called "muscle max" for 30 minutes. The class wasn't very strenuous, but, since I'm returning to the gym after taking quite a bit of time off with anemia and laziness, I'm okay starting back into things slowly.

When I was leaving the gym my mind starting flashing onto candy bars. I had planned to stop at the grocery store on the way home, but decided I needed to get past the craving first. I'll go grocery shopping later if I'm feeling stronger.

Feeling a bit shaky when I returned from the gym (which is why I was craving sugar), I immediately made myself a shake with a tsp of oil. Feeling tired and want to take a nap. I'll try to fight the feeling. (see "Signs that I'm Self Destructing") .

Overcame my urge to take a nap and decided to get some work done instead. I regained energy and was able to complete several things that were overdue. I had another peach at 3:30 and was feeling levelled out energy wise.

My husband and I went grocery shopping at 4:30. It took us 2 hours to get through the task. By the end of the trip at the store I was feeling tired and hungry. I held off the hunger with a stick of gum because I knew I'd be home soon and make a salad.

By the time I got home I was crabby, confrontational and argumentative towards my husband. Even before I put away the groceries I was making a salad. I threw the Lentil soup in the micro(it was already measured out) , my husband started cooking the orange roughie, I heated up 1/2 cup of brown rice, cut up a carrott added 2 tsp of oil to the salad and immediately sat down to eat. Even though I've just completed that meal, I still feel a bit shaky and weak. I'm tired and my resistance to eating healthy is down. I'll grab a glass of water to see if that will help me feel full.

Earlier, while making the salad, I began to think that I could eat extra servings of peanuts. I ended up measuring out 4 servings of peanuts, packaging them in individual baggies and put them away in the cupboard. I also packaged two salads for tomorrow and Friday. I'll have a leftover 6 ounce serving of Orange Roughie for tomorrow also.

Its 8:30 pm and I didn't make it through the evening without going off the plan. I've had an apple and 1 cup of peanuts. The apples not bad, but the peanuts - 159 per 1/4 cup. Ouch! 9:15 ate another peach. 9:30 another 1/2 cup of peanuts. Can't seem to get a handle on this. I'm going to go to bed and read and see if that helps me to stop.

Went to bed at 10:30 but than stayed up until 12:00am playing cards on the computer. Plan on getting up at 7am. I can see the slippey slope and am ready to slow it down. Rough Day.