Health vs. Education

I'm pretty upset about the results I received from my doctor regarding my blood tests. My hemoglobin is at 8.4 right now and she is recommending that I get a hysterectomy. This doctors opinion is the fourth opinion I've received on this.

I was supposed to start school next week. I won't be able to handle school and a hysterectomy in the same semester. Recovery time is approximately six weeks and I would either need to do it now or when school breaks for the winter. I don't know what to do. I want to start school so badly and I'm afraid that if I don't start school this semester that I'll never go back to school. Right now my schedule is such that I believe I could handle school and my part time career. I'll pray on this and see what guidance I receive. I won't make a decision until I feel certain that I am being shown what I need to do. Actually, it was through prayer that I was shown to go back to school. Why would a hysterectomy come up at the same time?

I have been following the body for life workout program for the past week and the eating plan given to me by my doctor. I actually am feeling pretty good too. The hypnosis session to eliminate my sugar cravings seems to have taken. I stopped eating sugar on August 9th and I'm enjoy carrots and fruits instead. I still listen to the cd each day/evening and am practicing the self hypnosis techniques I was shown. So far its working out great.

Today I Choose HEALTH

On a scale of 1 to 10, I would have to rate where I am at in regards to my health at about a 6. In order for this number to be a 10 I need to increase my hemoglobin, recover from a cold, eat according to the eating plan prescribed to me, follow up with my doctors appointments, make a commitment to an exercise regime, and create a balance in my daily schedule.

What I am doing today to improve my health:

• Scheduled a follow up appointment with my doctor to review a medication that is not working and contributing to my problems with anemia.
  
• Began a program to eliminate one of my anti-depressant medications.
  
• Scheduled a mammogram appointment.
• Listened to my hypnosis tape this morning to help me overcome an addiction to sugar and sugar cravings.
  
• I am making a commitment to the Body for Life workout program. I've printed up the workout forms, put it in my food journal folder, and went to the gym.
• I was larger than my cravings today.
  
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CFM - Day 26

Started my morning by listening to the hypnosis cd. Felt kind of tired and moved in slow motion this morning. Went to clients, had to hang out for a couple hours doing nothing while waiting for contractors to complete their work. Again, felt tired, antisocial, awkward, didn't want to entertain my clients dramas.

Had a shake this morning, packed nuts for the road, had another shake before running out the door to my clients since it was so close to lunch time. While at my clients instead of eating the nuts I packed first, I made myself another shake believing it was my second shake of the day. I did this same thing yesterday also. Very odd.

I'm drinking a lot of water today, and it does taste fantastic! Also, the meal I made for myself last night was so wonderful that I made another one this evening. I should probably add some shrimp to it though so I can stay close on my program

This evening I had problems with sugar cravings and wanted to go out and get some m&m's. I ended up grabbing some tangerines instead. What was great was that ususally when I begin to get into the craving I'm not able to get my mind off of it for very long. I rarely have the thought of something else to take the place of the craving. It was an aha moment to think the thought of the tangerines.

Actually almost craving water. hmmmm

Finally, again had a craving for that elusive "something" and decided to make put together the remaining items on my food plan. It was late so I wasn't overly excited about cooking, but, I had 6 oz of shrimp, and cooked onions and tomatoes in the remaining 4 tsp of oil.

Didn't work out today and I have it my schedule for tomorrow. I'll go after I get out of my second doctors appointment - early evening.

CFM - Day 5

Went to bed at 10:30pm last night then woke at 2:30 wanting something to eat. Had to do some self talk to calm the thoughts down a couple of times.

Set alarm for 8:00, woke up at 8:10. Sat in front of my computer until 10:30 then had a shake with a tsp of oil. When I took my am vitamins and minerals I had an upset stomach so I chased them with some pepto bismol. I'll have to spread them out a bit more so I don't take too many at once.

Packed a peach and 1/4 cup of nuts before I headed out to the gym. Exercised on the elliptical orbiter for 30 minutes, ate the peach and the nuts, then headed into a class called "muscle max" for 30 minutes. The class wasn't very strenuous, but, since I'm returning to the gym after taking quite a bit of time off with anemia and laziness, I'm okay starting back into things slowly.

When I was leaving the gym my mind starting flashing onto candy bars. I had planned to stop at the grocery store on the way home, but decided I needed to get past the craving first. I'll go grocery shopping later if I'm feeling stronger.

Feeling a bit shaky when I returned from the gym (which is why I was craving sugar), I immediately made myself a shake with a tsp of oil. Feeling tired and want to take a nap. I'll try to fight the feeling. (see "Signs that I'm Self Destructing") .

Overcame my urge to take a nap and decided to get some work done instead. I regained energy and was able to complete several things that were overdue. I had another peach at 3:30 and was feeling levelled out energy wise.

My husband and I went grocery shopping at 4:30. It took us 2 hours to get through the task. By the end of the trip at the store I was feeling tired and hungry. I held off the hunger with a stick of gum because I knew I'd be home soon and make a salad.

By the time I got home I was crabby, confrontational and argumentative towards my husband. Even before I put away the groceries I was making a salad. I threw the Lentil soup in the micro(it was already measured out) , my husband started cooking the orange roughie, I heated up 1/2 cup of brown rice, cut up a carrott added 2 tsp of oil to the salad and immediately sat down to eat. Even though I've just completed that meal, I still feel a bit shaky and weak. I'm tired and my resistance to eating healthy is down. I'll grab a glass of water to see if that will help me feel full.

Earlier, while making the salad, I began to think that I could eat extra servings of peanuts. I ended up measuring out 4 servings of peanuts, packaging them in individual baggies and put them away in the cupboard. I also packaged two salads for tomorrow and Friday. I'll have a leftover 6 ounce serving of Orange Roughie for tomorrow also.

Its 8:30 pm and I didn't make it through the evening without going off the plan. I've had an apple and 1 cup of peanuts. The apples not bad, but the peanuts - 159 per 1/4 cup. Ouch! 9:15 ate another peach. 9:30 another 1/2 cup of peanuts. Can't seem to get a handle on this. I'm going to go to bed and read and see if that helps me to stop.

Went to bed at 10:30 but than stayed up until 12:00am playing cards on the computer. Plan on getting up at 7am. I can see the slippey slope and am ready to slow it down. Rough Day.

CFM - Day 3

Set my alarm for 7am, got up at 9:30, had a shake with a tsp of oil at 10:30. Packed a lunch of salad with 2 tsp of oil and red wine vinegar, 1/4 cup of peanuts, and an apple. Arrived at clients house at 11:30, received a call from my doctors office to have a BIA done today rather than meet with the doctor. Needed to fast for 4 hours, so I ate my apple and peanuts before 12:15 because my test was for 4:15. Ate right at my clients table while we reviewed design plans. Stopped at home before my doctors appointment, added a peach to my lunch bag so I'd have something to eat in addition to the salad when I walked out of the doctors office. Was running late to kids kickball game so I grabbed a shake with oil and out the door. Got back from game at 8:30, ate 3 ounces of shrimp, some carrot sticks, and went to the gym. I did 30 minutes of cardio, and 15 minutes of weights. (had to talk myself into those weights) Home at 9:30 put together 1/2 cup chickpeas, 1/2 cup brown rice, the remaining 3 ounces of shrimp and some canned stewed tomatoes, added basil, salt and pepper and threw it in the micro. I weighed in at 165.6 at the doctors. Had no cravings for unhealthy foods today.