Monday, July 30, 2007

CFM - Day 10

Well its a new week and I have an appointment with the doctor today. My blood test results should be back and I'll finally be able to see where my hemoglobin is. Last time we checked it was 9.6.

Had a shake for breakfast, packed a salad with 1/2 cup of rice, 1/2 cup of garbonzo beans, 1 carrot, and 2 medium peaches. While at my clients I didn't eat anything and I did need to. I was feeling nervous because I didn't have my drawings completed for her and I felt like I had to overcompensate my services.

When I left my clients I ate the 2 peaches. I now have about 1/2 hour of downtime before I have to go the doctors.

Blood test results were in and my hemoglobin has returned to 13! That is such a relief - I am now anemic free and can no longer blame my tiredness on anemia. Fantastic!

I talked with my doctor about my situation with sugar and how I don't seem to have any control over it. She suggested that I begin by going to hypnotherapy. I made an appointment for August 17th. I explained how I think about sugar off and on throughout the day, how I wake at night and will sometimes think about having sugar, how I try to make it through an evening without breaking down and buying any sugar. I expect that this sugar situation is showing up so LOUDLY right now because I am trying to get control over my food and my health.

One are of concern is that my insulin levels were higher than my last tests, my fat levels were up, triglycerides were up. I expect this is all due to sugar. Finally, when I began this program I was told that I am pre diabetic, and, although this concerns me it is not causing me enough concern to stop the destructive behaviour.

Tonight when I returned from the doctors office I prepared a shake. I didn't want to eat any regular food and I went out and bought a 12 oz package of m&m's. Sick, sick, sick. I need help.

I weighed in at 165, lost 1 pound from last appointment.

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